Mitbafbegjopyikquimbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, contented elephant.

Mitbafbegjopyikquimbarn created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Mitbafbegjopyikquimbarn, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mitbafbegjopyikquimbarn, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Mitbafbegjopyikquimbarn's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Mitbafbegjopyikquimbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair pink.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed bread to snakes while wearing shirts.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never feed peanuts to cats while wearing black shoes.