Cabcipbabxuck Parkwabbogrowquatjip Bumbittetti is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless horse.

Cabcipbabxuck Parkwabbogrowquatjip Bumbittetti created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabcipbabxuck Parkwabbogrowquatjip Bumbittetti, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cabcipbabxuck Parkwabbogrowquatjip Bumbittetti, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cabcipbabxuck Parkwabbogrowquatjip Bumbittetti's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cabcipbabxuck Parkwabbogrowquatjip Bumbittetti's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never wear cyan shirts.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.