Latyogban is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, temperamental raccoon.

Latyogban created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Latyogban, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Latyogban, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Latyogban's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Latyogban's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into mauve rooms.

2. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not keep eight pigs in a large pit.

5. Do not eat aubergines.