Voglidkik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, merciless porpoise.

Voglidkik created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Voglidkik, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Voglidkik, she will boil you in a big pot.

Voglidkik's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Voglidkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow rings.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

4. Never feed lots of grapes to eagles while wearing turquoise jumpers.

5. Do not take Voglidkik's name in vain.