Artdotjat Cabgudbit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic hamster.

Artdotjat Cabgudbit created the Andromeda Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Artdotjat Cabgudbit, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Artdotjat Cabgudbit, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Artdotjat Cabgudbit's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Artdotjat Cabgudbit's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.