Xemlitab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, egotistical hedgehog.

Xemlitab created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Xemlitab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xemlitab, it will send you a sign.

Xemlitab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Xemlitab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Xemlitab.

4. Xemlitab loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.