Rapmadnab is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, irritating goose.

Rapmadnab created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rapmadnab, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rapmadnab, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rapmadnab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Rapmadnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never think about spacetime near snakes while wearing purple ear rings and balancing seven titanium spheres on your back.

4. Never feed rice to sharks while wearing dresses.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.