Tapweebon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, competent spider.

Tapweebon created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapweebon, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tapweebon, it will turn you into a rock.

Tapweebon's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Tapweebon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near mites while wearing orange tights and balancing nine nickel spheres on your hands.