Hatpingankabsawpod is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, boastful finch.

Hatpingankabsawpod created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatpingankabsawpod, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hatpingankabsawpod, she will not invite you to parties.

Hatpingankabsawpod's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hatpingankabsawpod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Hatpingankabsawpod on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Never feed lots of nuts to geese while wearing brown stockings.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hatpingankabsawpod.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.