Wancaplooptag is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, proud dingo.

Wancaplooptag created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wancaplooptag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wancaplooptag, he will jump up and down on your head.

Wancaplooptag's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Wancaplooptag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

4. Retreat if seven monkeys approach from the north.

5. Never feed lots of lentils to swans while wearing green shorts.