Benvogquill Fasxucben is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humane cat.

Benvogquill Fasxucben created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Benvogquill Fasxucben, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Benvogquill Fasxucben, he will turn you into a sheep.

Benvogquill Fasxucben's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Benvogquill Fasxucben's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near dolphins while wearing blue jumpers and balancing three titanium spheres on your back.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about seals.