Nullmapfonlunpagflan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, idiotic squid.

Nullmapfonlunpagflan created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullmapfonlunpagflan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nullmapfonlunpagflan, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nullmapfonlunpagflan's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Nullmapfonlunpagflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not take Nullmapfonlunpagflan's name in vain.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not speak about corn.

5. Never eat green fruit.