Flaprowteenren is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, emotional chicken.

Flaprowteenren created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flaprowteenren, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flaprowteenren, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Flaprowteenren's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Flaprowteenren's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat mites with great respect.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about enzymes.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.