Lopmumgup Kimflamzog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, resourceful coyote.

Lopmumgup Kimflamzog created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopmumgup Kimflamzog, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lopmumgup Kimflamzog, he will have a low opinion of you.

Lopmumgup Kimflamzog's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Lopmumgup Kimflamzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. You must love Lopmumgup Kimflamzog.

4. Do not take Lopmumgup Kimflamzog's name in vain.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.