Nuttsterlag is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, irritating donkey.

Nuttsterlag created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nuttsterlag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nuttsterlag, she will turn you into a plant.

Nuttsterlag's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Nuttsterlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tapirs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Never think about dark matter near horses while wearing violet stockings and balancing seven gold spheres on your feet.