Kapmildid is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unselfish scorpion.

Kapmildid created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapmildid, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kapmildid, she will destroy your home solar system.

Kapmildid's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Kapmildid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Kapmildid must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink water in pink rooms.