Gidlakhap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able wolf.

Gidlakhap created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidlakhap, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gidlakhap, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gidlakhap's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gidlakhap's Holy Commandments

1. Gidlakhap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about dolphins.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.