Batcutbif is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, uncaring dragonfly.

Batcutbif created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batcutbif, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Batcutbif, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Batcutbif's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Batcutbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near doves while wearing pink boots and balancing five silicon spheres on your back.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.