Bomtimvig is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, smart mink.

Bomtimvig created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bomtimvig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bomtimvig, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bomtimvig's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bomtimvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always help aardvarks in need.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.