Bellgessvol is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, kind shark.

Bellgessvol created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Bellgessvol, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bellgessvol, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bellgessvol's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bellgessvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.