Gigsasflabarf is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, tiresome hedgehog.

Gigsasflabarf created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigsasflabarf, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gigsasflabarf, she will destroy your home planet.

Gigsasflabarf's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gigsasflabarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near manatees while wearing gray trousers and balancing six zinc spheres on your hands.

2. Never hop in the presence of grasshopers.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Always obey Gigsasflabarf's priests.

5. Respect your elders.