Lagsigbossdab is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, smart octopus.

Lagsigbossdab created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagsigbossdab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lagsigbossdab, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Lagsigbossdab's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Lagsigbossdab's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Run away if six ants approach from the north.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never skip in holy places.