Hashomtit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain coyote.

Hashomtit created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hashomtit, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Hashomtit, it will turn you into a mole.

Hashomtit's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Hashomtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Do not keep five snakes in a large pit.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Hashomtit loves turtles, so they must be respected.