Komtonquartgon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish snake.

Komtonquartgon created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Komtonquartgon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Komtonquartgon, it will turn you into a hamster.

Komtonquartgon's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Komtonquartgon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Komtonquartgon.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never think ill of sick rats.