Farflamdamhanrulpogjamart is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, stupid giraffe.

Farflamdamhanrulpogjamart created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Farflamdamhanrulpogjamart, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Farflamdamhanrulpogjamart, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Farflamdamhanrulpogjamart's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Farflamdamhanrulpogjamart's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Run away if four ants approach from the south.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Farflamdamhanrulpogjamart.