Labfuttarp is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, selfish squid.

Labfuttarp created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Labfuttarp, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Labfuttarp, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Labfuttarp's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Labfuttarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Labfuttarp.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Labfuttarp must be the most important thing in your life.