Bomcedstik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, conceited turtle.

Bomcedstik created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bomcedstik, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bomcedstik, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bomcedstik's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Bomcedstik's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Bomcedstik on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about dark energy near tapirs while wearing brown rings.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not take Bomcedstik's name in vain.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.