Kaplopsit is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, generous porpoise.

Kaplopsit created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kaplopsit, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kaplopsit, she will turn you into a hamster.

Kaplopsit's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Kaplopsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Put Kaplopsit first in all things.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.