Bimzimjad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional centipede.

Bimzimjad created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bimzimjad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bimzimjad, it will remove you from existence.

Bimzimjad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bimzimjad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven whales approach from the east.

2. You must pray to Bimzimjad eight times a day.

3. You must never eat pineapples.

4. Hide if four doves approach from the north.

5. Never go into violet rooms.