Habfetcut is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, tranquil elephant.

Habfetcut created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habfetcut, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Habfetcut, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Habfetcut's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Habfetcut's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never think about dark matter near rats while wearing green kilts and balancing five silver spheres on your back.

3. Habfetcut loves mice, so they must be honoured.

4. Run away from turquoise geese, for they are unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.