Vonsugkipjap is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, weak coyote.

Vonsugkipjap created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonsugkipjap, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonsugkipjap, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vonsugkipjap's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Vonsugkipjap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always help foxes.

5. Always take life seriously.