Nilfatyak is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witless wombat.

Nilfatyak created parasitic wasps three million years ago.

If you believe in Nilfatyak, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nilfatyak, she will be very unhappy.

Nilfatyak's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Nilfatyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near squirrels.

2. Put Nilfatyak first in all things.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always help sick badgers.