Zogbestkam is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, confident toad.

Zogbestkam created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogbestkam, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zogbestkam, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zogbestkam's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Zogbestkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not eat grapes.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never pour water over plants.