Homsigzod is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, moody rat.

Homsigzod created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homsigzod, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Homsigzod, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Homsigzod's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Homsigzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of bats.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near otters while wearing violet rings.

3. Never sit near ducks.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. You must love Homsigzod.