Witjen is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, clever squirrel.

Witjen created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witjen, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Witjen, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Witjen's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Witjen's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about special relativity near aardvarks while wearing green kilts.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Witjen on top of all buildings.