Vantimwod is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonest goose.

Vantimwod created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vantimwod, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vantimwod, she will destroy your home planet.

Vantimwod's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Vantimwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always treat snakes with great respect.

3. Never wear turquoise scarves.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Never feed gooseberries to foxes while wearing rings.