Cantarphun is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, all-knowing bear.

Cantarphun created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cantarphun, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cantarphun, she will destroy your home solar system.

Cantarphun's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cantarphun's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Cantarphun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Retreat if seven snakes approach from the north.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.