Fenpangxin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, quiet duck.

Fenpangxin created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenpangxin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fenpangxin, he will destroy your home planet.

Fenpangxin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fenpangxin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green doves for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fenpangxin.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Ducks are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near whales while wearing purple dresses and balancing four silver spheres on your legs.