Bimnut is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage grasshopper.

Bimnut created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimnut, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bimnut, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bimnut's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Bimnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to porpoises while wearing boots.

2. Never feed rice to mites while wearing magenta dresses.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not stand on grass.