Wigrapbif is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, quiet tortoise.

Wigrapbif created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigrapbif, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wigrapbif, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wigrapbif's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Wigrapbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.