Fobzimbell is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, two-faced weasel.

Fobzimbell created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fobzimbell, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fobzimbell, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fobzimbell's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Fobzimbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never feed lots of oranges to snails while wearing magenta hats.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Put Fobzimbell first in all things.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.