Nillsidlat is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, staggering tortoise.

Nillsidlat created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillsidlat, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nillsidlat, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nillsidlat's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Nillsidlat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Nillsidlat on top of all buildings.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Nillsidlat.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Nillsidlat loves gulls, so they must be honoured.