Hinfliszag Stigvogcar is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, capable monkey.

Hinfliszag Stigvogcar created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinfliszag Stigvogcar, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hinfliszag Stigvogcar, she will turn you into a snail.

Hinfliszag Stigvogcar's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Hinfliszag Stigvogcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

3. Always help sick mites.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never hurt sheep.