Yarpxemhakbossyim is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic scorpion.

Yarpxemhakbossyim created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpxemhakbossyim, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpxemhakbossyim, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yarpxemhakbossyim's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Yarpxemhakbossyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dolphins.

2. Do not kill goats.

3. Retreat if three shrews approach from the north.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.