Bissvin is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, egotistical snake.

Bissvin created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissvin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bissvin, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bissvin's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bissvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Retreat if six voles approach from the west.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat rice.

5. Put Bissvin first in all things.