Cetbeddun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, two-faced octopus.

Cetbeddun created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbeddun, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cetbeddun, it will destroy your favourite star.

Cetbeddun's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Cetbeddun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

3. Never jump in the presence of eagles.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.