Tabgesscidcam is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, moody walrus.

Tabgesscidcam created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabgesscidcam, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tabgesscidcam, it will laugh at you.

Tabgesscidcam's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tabgesscidcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of corn to mites while wearing pink trousers.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Tabgesscidcam in the centre of the settlement.

5. Feed all hungry swans.