Madkenmum Mitboss is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, narcissistic shrew.

Madkenmum Mitboss created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Madkenmum Mitboss, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Madkenmum Mitboss, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Madkenmum Mitboss' most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Madkenmum Mitboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about garlic.

2. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Retreat if four swans approach from the west.