Begwodmob is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, egotistical troll.

Begwodmob created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begwodmob, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Begwodmob, it will turn you into a sheep.

Begwodmob's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Begwodmob's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Begwodmob.

5. Never hurt dolphins.