Sogmobpin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, passionate turtle.

Sogmobpin created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sogmobpin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Sogmobpin, it will turn you into a goat.

Sogmobpin's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Sogmobpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Never talk about goats.